Many people know me, or have read my story and commented on how strong and brave I was; I truly am grateful for those compliments. But what some may not know is that the bravery and strength come after the amputation. There is so much that I miss about my life before my amputation, at times I feel guilty for taking those days of somewhat easy mobility for granted. There are days when the little changes that individually seem like nothing, but summed as a whole, overwhelm me. I miss wearing jeans or pants in general, I miss all the wonderful shoes I owned before my amputation, I miss having two feet the same size, I miss mountain biking, and the ability to walk up to a river and decide to stroll through it if I wanted.
|The day after my amputation, May 4,2008.|
Life after my amputation is the challenge and will be the challenge for the rest of my life; some days I'm okay with that, and some days I'm just tired. Some days it takes all I've got to get out of bed and put on my leg, and some days, I don't get out of bed and prefer to not even acknowledge my prosthetic.
I've learned that real bravery and strength are tested and applied after the amputation. This philosophy is true with any challenge we face isn't it? People talk about the event that caused the chain reaction that changes their lives forever, but the they rarely talk about what happens after that event. Most put on a happy face in public and go home and flounder in sorrow alone. After losing a loved one, losing a limb, losing a dear friend, being diagnosed with an incurable decease, or even having our hearts broken from time to time; how does one find strength after these kinds of life changing events?
Some mock blogging as an online journal, as if sharing ones life is wrong or stupid, and imply that personal events should be kept private in a journal stuffed under a mattress. The word blog is short for Web Log, so it is safe to say blogs are in fact online journals. Before computers and the internet people kept journals for their posterity, to document genealogies, to write about life as it was happening to them; and thank goodness! Today people still keep these kinds of records; which is important. But in the world of blogging we have an opportunity to share our lives and special experiences with the world, or those who read our blogs. I blog to share my experiences, not to show off and not for attention; but for the purpose of offering support to others who may need that extra bit of strength to get out of bed in the morning.
|My beautiful legs.|
In my opinion it's not enough to just go on living after a life altering event, it's more important to go on happy and positive, with an attitude of progression and moving forward. It's important to acknowledge the hard days, but focus on the good days - in fact magnify those good days. Pretending you're not hurting is an uncertain and lonely road. We can progress much faster and healthier with support from others; letting people in to help you is brave. I know it's scary and you may feel vulnerable when you admit you need help, and don't have a clue about what you're doing, but as soon as you open up, people always step in to help, and there is your strength!
What "amputation" are you dealing with?
How do you find strength and bravery?
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