13 Random Facts about me:
1. In high school I took French. The only real phrase I learned was asking to use the restroom, we could only talk in French while we were in class.
2. My high school English teacher was also my father's high school English teacher. Yikes!
3. I eat like a picky toddler. I don't like food mixed or touching on my plate. I DO NOT eat or cook casseroles because it's mixed food. I don't cook Rachael Ray recipes because I found they were just glorified casseroles. Any soup I cook I will puree, because I don't like chunky mixed food in a bowl.
4. When I was young I loved scary movies, now that I'm older I cannot watch them, and if I do I have nightmares! Even a few Doctor Who episodes gave me nightmares i.e. Weeping Angels!
5. In high school I taught my best friend's little brother how to drive, and that was one of my first near death experiences (more on that later), and yes there has been more than one near death experience in my life, some more funny than others.
6. I have written poems my whole life! I have my own format so to speak; they used to start with the phrase, I am a girl with shoes on. After my amputation, the opening phrase has changed to, I am a girl with one leg standing. You'll have the pleasure to read some of my poems on the blog I'm sure.
7. I've always loved cats, but told everyone I hated them because I'm allergic to them. Joe and my daughter Krista are cat people, so a couple years ago we bought two cats and I love them so much. I now feel guilty for ever thinking mean things about cats. We really shouldn't think mean things or do mean things to any of God's creations. I'm still allergic and survive on a lot of allergy medicine, but I love my cats! They have the best personalities and they are very loving. Except for Willow; she is loving in her own way.
8. I am a huge dog lover! We had dogs growing up and I've had eight dogs of my own since moving out of my parents home! Raz is my favorite of course.
9. I have a lot of wonderful friends but I'm actually a loner, I love spending time by myself.
10. I love reading. . . magazines. I have to force myself to finish books, I lose interest fast and my mind starts wondering so I find I have to read chapters two and three times. At that point I close the book in frustration. I married the most avid reader in the world! Joe reads to me whatever he's reading and I'm happy.
11. I went to Primary Children's in SLC Utah until I was 18! I have a birth defect called Sacral Agenesis. Read more about Sacral Agenesis HERE.
12. In high school I listened to country music and wore a cowgirl boots and I even had cowgirl hats! Now, I don't listen to country music at all.
13. I wish my church would bring back Roadshows! Some of my fondest memories when I was a tween was being in those plays, practicing, singing, and dressing up in costume was fun!
A Blog by Jill Adams: A Study in Refining Self through Creativity, Faith, Reflection, Writing, & Sharing.
October 7, 2013
October 6, 2013
High/Low
If any of you have the seen the move The Story of Us you know what High/Low is. I saw this movie when it first came out 14 years ago and I bawled my eyes out! I don't actually recommend watching this movie; it is incredibly depressing, but it has a great ending. In one scene of the movie the family is sitting down to dinner. While the family is eating, everyone takes turns telling about their high moment of the day and their low moment of the day. The family discussed each others' high and low moments and I thought it was such a fun idea that I started the tradition for myself.
When I lived in SLC with two of my cousins and two other roommates I started a tradition of high/low. We usually all gathered in the kitchen during the evenings when everyone got home from work and school. Some of my most memorable moments living there were our high/low conversations. Years later after my divorce, I lived alone in a small one bedroom apartment, but I spent a lot time at my sister's house. I would go over to my sister's almost every Sunday and cook dinner for the family. We would all sit around the dinner table together and go around the table sharing our highs and lows of the week. I loved it so much; I think it helped the kids open up a bit and it's a fun way to keep conversation flowing.
I think it would be fun to start a weekly high/low tradition here on the blog! I'll start with my low of the week and then my high, that way I'm ending my post on a happy note!
Low: I made a huge batch of Indian Butter Chicken so I could freeze a bunch for future dinners. The flavor is good but it's a bit too hot my my liking. I'm bummed because I don't like it when my recipes don't turn out right. Next time I'm only going to put in half of the chilli powder the recipe calls for. If you'd like to take a look at the recipe click HERE! I'm still on the look out for a traditional Indian Butter Chicken recipe, I don't know how authentic this recipe is: I don't think jalapenos are a traditional Indian flavor.
High: Spending all day today at Ray Roberts State Park, listening to General Conference, reading, writing, spending time with Joseph and Raz, and being outside in nature! I always feel most spiritual and at peace when I'm in nature!
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| IMBD photo source |
When I lived in SLC with two of my cousins and two other roommates I started a tradition of high/low. We usually all gathered in the kitchen during the evenings when everyone got home from work and school. Some of my most memorable moments living there were our high/low conversations. Years later after my divorce, I lived alone in a small one bedroom apartment, but I spent a lot time at my sister's house. I would go over to my sister's almost every Sunday and cook dinner for the family. We would all sit around the dinner table together and go around the table sharing our highs and lows of the week. I loved it so much; I think it helped the kids open up a bit and it's a fun way to keep conversation flowing.
I think it would be fun to start a weekly high/low tradition here on the blog! I'll start with my low of the week and then my high, that way I'm ending my post on a happy note!
Low: I made a huge batch of Indian Butter Chicken so I could freeze a bunch for future dinners. The flavor is good but it's a bit too hot my my liking. I'm bummed because I don't like it when my recipes don't turn out right. Next time I'm only going to put in half of the chilli powder the recipe calls for. If you'd like to take a look at the recipe click HERE! I'm still on the look out for a traditional Indian Butter Chicken recipe, I don't know how authentic this recipe is: I don't think jalapenos are a traditional Indian flavor.
High: Spending all day today at Ray Roberts State Park, listening to General Conference, reading, writing, spending time with Joseph and Raz, and being outside in nature! I always feel most spiritual and at peace when I'm in nature!
I'd love it if you shared your high and low of the week with me!
Share in the comments below or on Millee-Margaret's Facebook page HERE!
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October 5, 2013
Chapter Six: Millee's Story
Millee Margaret is my daughter who passed away while I was giving birth to her. I feel it's fitting to share her story since this blog is named after her. I didn't get to raise her, but giving birth to her changed my life forever. The day after my office Christmas party, about mid December in 2007, I went to a routine check up with an ultra sound. Without sharing all the medical gory details I found out I was in labor and getting ready to have a baby. Because I was only about 22 weeks along I was admitted to the hospital in Ogden Utah, then later sent to the University of Utah's labor and delivery unit in Salt Lake City. I was considered high risk and because of a specific surgery I had when I was young, I couldn't have a caesarean. I had to have her naturally, but I don't have hip sockets either; a body part women need to give birth. Our goal was to give birth between 26 - 32 weeks. After 26 weeks her lungs would be stronger and under 32 weeks she'd be small enough for me to give birth naturally.
I spent most of my nights laying upside down, gravity was on our side in this situation, and I was flat on my back for about four weeks. The morning I went into labor I was 26 weeks along to the day, and I was alone in my hospital room in utter panic when I realized my water had broken. I called the nurse and was rushed to labor and delivery. I'd been on pills to stop labor so during birth my cervix closed and wrapped around Millee's neck and she was stuck. I was then put on medicine that causes labor, but the process took too much time to start working.
I think those 30-40 minutes waiting to go back into labor were the longest minutes of my life; I knew as each minute passed, my sweet baby was passing too. That night my Uncle Rex drove to the hospital to pick up my baby and took her to the mortuary in South Ogden. The next day my mom and dad took me home. Millee was born January 3, 2008; she is buried in Washington Heights Memorial Cemetery in Ogden Utah.
Millee was named after a night nurse I had while I was in the hospital. I was having such a hard time thinking of a girl name, and I wanted to wait to meet her before I decided on a name; but I had to have a few in mind. I had a night nurse, who was from Russia that came to check Millee's heart beat every night, and she was the one nurse that stayed for a bit and talked to me. I loved listening to her talk with her thick Russian accent. To be honest, her accent was so think I often had a hard time understanding her. The fact that she would take some time to hang out with me helped me through some lonely nights. Margaret is my mother, and I knew my baby was in some way going to be named after my mom; we've shared so much together and I knew my mom would be a big part of Millee's life. I wanted Millee to know who she was named after personally.
I still remember the panic I felt when I found out I was going to have a baby. I remember the rejection I felt when Millee's father told me he didn't want to be involved in our lives. I remember even more panic I felt when I found out I was having a girl; the thought of raising a girl in this crazy world frightened me. I still feel guilty every day because of losing her; I always wonder if there was something I could have done better. Most of all I remember the strength, faith, and love I felt being pregnant with her and planning a great future for us.
Millee was strong, beautiful, and loved to listen to Shania Twain; every time I played Shania's music, Millee would dance in my tummy. Well, she either loved Shania Twain and danced, or she was trying to tell me to turn off the music by kicking me in the ribs.
I will always be grateful for all of the support I received from my dear family, friends, and co-workers! Our family Christmas Eve party was spent in my hospital room that year. It was actually fun; we ate pizza, opened presents, played games, and visited. I had several visits from friends and co-workers, but it was also a very snowy and cold winter; I spent a lot of days and nights alone due to snowy weather and bad road conditions.
I don't think I'll ever truly get over losing my daughter, but the experience of having her taught me so much about myself and for that I have to be grateful.
I spent most of my nights laying upside down, gravity was on our side in this situation, and I was flat on my back for about four weeks. The morning I went into labor I was 26 weeks along to the day, and I was alone in my hospital room in utter panic when I realized my water had broken. I called the nurse and was rushed to labor and delivery. I'd been on pills to stop labor so during birth my cervix closed and wrapped around Millee's neck and she was stuck. I was then put on medicine that causes labor, but the process took too much time to start working.
I think those 30-40 minutes waiting to go back into labor were the longest minutes of my life; I knew as each minute passed, my sweet baby was passing too. That night my Uncle Rex drove to the hospital to pick up my baby and took her to the mortuary in South Ogden. The next day my mom and dad took me home. Millee was born January 3, 2008; she is buried in Washington Heights Memorial Cemetery in Ogden Utah.
Millee was named after a night nurse I had while I was in the hospital. I was having such a hard time thinking of a girl name, and I wanted to wait to meet her before I decided on a name; but I had to have a few in mind. I had a night nurse, who was from Russia that came to check Millee's heart beat every night, and she was the one nurse that stayed for a bit and talked to me. I loved listening to her talk with her thick Russian accent. To be honest, her accent was so think I often had a hard time understanding her. The fact that she would take some time to hang out with me helped me through some lonely nights. Margaret is my mother, and I knew my baby was in some way going to be named after my mom; we've shared so much together and I knew my mom would be a big part of Millee's life. I wanted Millee to know who she was named after personally.
I still remember the panic I felt when I found out I was going to have a baby. I remember the rejection I felt when Millee's father told me he didn't want to be involved in our lives. I remember even more panic I felt when I found out I was having a girl; the thought of raising a girl in this crazy world frightened me. I still feel guilty every day because of losing her; I always wonder if there was something I could have done better. Most of all I remember the strength, faith, and love I felt being pregnant with her and planning a great future for us.
Millee was strong, beautiful, and loved to listen to Shania Twain; every time I played Shania's music, Millee would dance in my tummy. Well, she either loved Shania Twain and danced, or she was trying to tell me to turn off the music by kicking me in the ribs.
I will always be grateful for all of the support I received from my dear family, friends, and co-workers! Our family Christmas Eve party was spent in my hospital room that year. It was actually fun; we ate pizza, opened presents, played games, and visited. I had several visits from friends and co-workers, but it was also a very snowy and cold winter; I spent a lot of days and nights alone due to snowy weather and bad road conditions.
I don't think I'll ever truly get over losing my daughter, but the experience of having her taught me so much about myself and for that I have to be grateful.
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October 4, 2013
Chapter Five: Let it be said. . .
Let it be said, I'm not a floundering woman trying to find myself in the world; I hope that isn't the vibe I'm giving by starting this blog. I know who I am, I think most people know who they are; we all have core values and beliefs that we identify with. But I have to think as human beings we owe it to ourselves to evaluate, research, and evolve continually. This is what I'm trying to do with self reflection and sharing my experiences on this blog.
For example, I don't think it's enough to identify myself as a nice person, but then go about life not really doing anything nice for anyone. It's like those people who share posts about saving starving people in Africa, but how well do they know their neighbor? How about actually doing something that truly will make a difference in someone's life here and now, even right next door? I believe that if you really know yourself, your actions will portray who you believe you are.
I want to find myself on a deeper, individual level; better yet I want to create myself. I know I have a lot to offer and there is so much more to find within myself, but I'll never know what I have to offer if I don't evaluate, research, and try my best to evolve.
For example, I don't think it's enough to identify myself as a nice person, but then go about life not really doing anything nice for anyone. It's like those people who share posts about saving starving people in Africa, but how well do they know their neighbor? How about actually doing something that truly will make a difference in someone's life here and now, even right next door? I believe that if you really know yourself, your actions will portray who you believe you are.
I want to find myself on a deeper, individual level; better yet I want to create myself. I know I have a lot to offer and there is so much more to find within myself, but I'll never know what I have to offer if I don't evaluate, research, and try my best to evolve.
Happy Friday y'all! I hope you have a great weekend!
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October 3, 2013
Chapter Four: The Ultimate Selfie
Can you believe that the word "selfie" is actually considered a word now? Check out this ARTICLE found on Time News Feed; I hate that we accept words like selfie or twerk as actual words. Why not say self portrait instead of selfie? And no one, anywhere should ever twerk, much less use the word in a sentence.
This blog isn't about the English language; we're talking about self portraits today! How comfortable are you with self portraits? I personally hate my picture taken, because I'm not happy with my physical self right now. However, I feel that constantly pointing out that I don't want my picture to be taken because I don't like myself, isn't very healthy and probably won't help me get on the right track to living a more healthy life.
My husband thinks I'm beautiful, and my family and friends like me as I am right now, so why not get over this issue of not taking pictures of myself? I've challenged myself to take one "selfie" per week until I'm comfortable with having pictures taken of me! Yikes! Here are 5 tips from A Beautiful Mess on how to take better self portraits.
This blog isn't about the English language; we're talking about self portraits today! How comfortable are you with self portraits? I personally hate my picture taken, because I'm not happy with my physical self right now. However, I feel that constantly pointing out that I don't want my picture to be taken because I don't like myself, isn't very healthy and probably won't help me get on the right track to living a more healthy life.
My husband thinks I'm beautiful, and my family and friends like me as I am right now, so why not get over this issue of not taking pictures of myself? I've challenged myself to take one "selfie" per week until I'm comfortable with having pictures taken of me! Yikes! Here are 5 tips from A Beautiful Mess on how to take better self portraits.
Who's going to join me?
Share your portraits on my Millee-Margaret Facebook page HERE or, tag me on
INSTAGRAM @eidolonhouse, and share your self portraits!
Here is my first "selfie" of the week!
I took this yesterday sitting in my car while Joseph was in the post office.
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October 2, 2013
Chapter Three: This has to be addressed
As a woman in my mid-thirties, one subject has to be addressed: Age! Anyone who knows me well knows I don't want to age, but time is going to march across my face if I want it to or not. Who decided that men get more distinguished and handsome as they age, i.e. George Clooney and Mark Harmon, and women just can't age at all? Sure the confident women are fine with their aging, but there are those of us not so confident and I am not looking forward to dying the grey out of my hair. Now, if I aged as these women have, I'd be pretty happy! However, if I don't find contentment with grey hair I don't think I'd continue to die my hair brown, my natural color; I'd dye my hair blue or purple!
At some point in a persons life not only does age have to be addressed; health must be addressed as well. Some people are naturally health aware but most of us have to make it a priority and a life changing experience to make it stick. I'm going to use this blog not only to focus on my emotional and spiritual health but also focus on my physical health! Joseph and I were planning a 30 day challenge around health, (check out our past 30 day challenges HERE), but we never got around to it, and I want this to be something I can conquer in my own way on my own timeline. So here's to aging well and a healthy future! What do you guys think about how society views women aging?
At some point in a persons life not only does age have to be addressed; health must be addressed as well. Some people are naturally health aware but most of us have to make it a priority and a life changing experience to make it stick. I'm going to use this blog not only to focus on my emotional and spiritual health but also focus on my physical health! Joseph and I were planning a 30 day challenge around health, (check out our past 30 day challenges HERE), but we never got around to it, and I want this to be something I can conquer in my own way on my own timeline. So here's to aging well and a healthy future! What do you guys think about how society views women aging?
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October 1, 2013
Chapter Two: Label Me
In our society we're often told it's wrong to put labels on people and ourselves, but I want to be labeled! Not labeled in a judgmental sort of way, but labeled as in "defined". My first obvious label is woman or wife, but what kind of woman or wife am I? Am I a brave woman or am I reserved and introverted? Maybe I am both depending on the situation I'm in. Am I a spiritual woman? What does it mean to be a spiritual person anyway? Do spiritual people only attend church and pray, or can I find spirituality in other non-conventional ways such as; travel, reading, meeting new people, being in nature, meditation, etc. I feel by answering these kinds of questions about myself, I'm in turn defining myself!
Here are a some labels I'm striving for: Brave, honest, fun, kind, creative, happy, loving, secure, and strong.
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| Photo Source |
Here are a some labels I'm striving for: Brave, honest, fun, kind, creative, happy, loving, secure, and strong.
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