Aspire to in 2014

I think 2014 could use a bit more meekness, kindness, patience, peace, and quiet; don't you?  With so many hot issues going on in the world these days, it seems everyone has gotten more heated and even rude, and quite frankly I think it's sad.  When did freedom of speech mean freedom to be argumentative, sarcastic, and ill-mannered?  What happened to compromise and productive conversation?  It seems many are quick to be offended, believe sound bites of inaccurate information, and are slow to listen and even empathize for others. 

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It's easy to say that someone else needs to change, isn't it?  But what about changing ourselves, now that is a true challenge I think; and may be the one challenge that can truly make all the difference in our worlds.  What would our world be like if we all tried to be just a little sweeter each day?  I'm talking about our own individual worlds and the actual lives we're involved with on a day to day basis.

In 2012 my New Year goal was to stay passionate (HERE), and last year my New Year goal was to be productive (HERE).  This year my New Year goal is to be more meek.  Meekness covers a great many characteristics I would love to possess:  Righteousness, humility, teach-ability, and patience.  My hope in becoming more meek means I may become more understanding, compassionate, empathetic, and kind to my family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers.  How can I expect the world to change if I don't change myself?

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"Blessed are the meek:  for they shall inherit the earth."

Matthew 5:5

Here's to a fantastic 2014!

XOXO

    

Linking with Casey Leigh HERE!

Chapter Eleven: Life after my Amputation

I shared why my leg was amputated on J&J Chronicles a couple years ago HERE.  And I've wrote about a few learning experiences about being an amputee HERE and HERE; even my husband shared his thoughts about life with an amputee wife HERE.
  
Many people know me, or have read my story and commented on how strong and brave I was; I truly am grateful for those compliments.  But what some may not know is that the bravery and strength come after the amputation.  There is so much that I miss about my life before my amputation, at times I feel guilty for taking those days of somewhat easy mobility for granted.  There are days when the little changes that individually seem like nothing, but summed as a whole, overwhelm me.  I miss wearing jeans or pants in general, I miss all the wonderful shoes I owned before my amputation, I miss having two feet the same size, I miss mountain biking, and the ability to walk up to a river and decide to stroll through it if I wanted.  

The day after my amputation, May 4,2008.

Life after my amputation is the challenge and will be the challenge for the rest of my life; some days I'm okay with that, and some days I'm just tired.  Some days it takes all I've got to get out of bed and put on my leg, and some days, I don't get out of bed and prefer to not even acknowledge my prosthetic.

I've learned that real bravery and strength are tested and applied after the amputation.  This philosophy is true with any challenge we face isn't it?  People talk about the event that caused the chain reaction that changes their lives forever, but the they rarely talk about what happens after that event.  Most put on a happy face in public and go home and flounder in sorrow alone.  After losing a loved one, losing a limb, losing a dear friend, being diagnosed with an incurable decease, or even having our hearts broken from time to time; how does one find strength after these kinds of life changing events? 

Some mock blogging as an online journal, as if sharing ones life is wrong or stupid, and imply that personal events should be kept private in a journal stuffed under a mattress.  The word blog is short for Web Log, so it is safe to say blogs are in fact online journals.  Before computers and the internet people kept journals for their posterity, to document genealogies, to write about life as it was happening to them; and thank goodness!  Today people still keep these kinds of records; which is important.  But in the world of blogging we have an opportunity to share our lives and special experiences with the world, or those who read our blogs.  I blog to share my experiences, not to show off and not for attention; but for the purpose of offering support to others who may need that extra bit of strength to get out of bed in the morning.
    

My beautiful legs.

In my opinion it's not enough to just go on living after a life altering event, it's more important to go on happy and positive, with an attitude of progression and moving forward.  It's important to acknowledge the hard days, but focus on the good days - in fact magnify those good days.  Pretending you're not hurting is an uncertain and lonely road.  We can progress much faster and healthier with support from others; letting people in to help you is brave.  I know it's scary and you may feel vulnerable when you admit you need help, and don't have a clue about what you're doing, but as soon as you open up, people always step in to help, and there is your strength! 

What "amputation" are you dealing with?
How do you find strength and bravery?

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Standing on the Edge

Have you ever felt anxious but you don't know where the feeling is coming from?  I'm not talking about worry or the negative kind of anxious; I'm talking about feeling excited, like you're standing on the edge of something great!  I'm feeling excited and anxious; I'm ready to jump in and begin!

   

Have you ever felt this way?

What happened after you stepped off the edge towards your excitement?

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Chapter Ten: Happiness is. . .

I was looking around my little house tonight and started listing in my head all the things about it that made me happy.  I was sitting in my rocking chair near my husband as he worked, I looked down and around me were all three of my pets, laying beside each other at my feet.  I couldn't help but smile, and I thought happiness is this. . . being happy with what I have right now at this very moment.

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Chapter Nine: "Friend Oriented"

I've been accused of being a "friend oriented" person, as if this were a negative thing, and I don't understand why loving my friends would be a negative thing.  I have the most amazing friends in the world!  My closest friends have quite literally in one way or another saved my life; these people must be loved.  

I'm the youngest of three children.  My sister is five years older than me, and moved out of our home when I was about 14 years old; so my friends became very important to me at a young age.  My brother is two years older than me; we became close friends after my sister moved out, which was fun because most of my friends wanted to date my brother, and I think he thought a few of my friends were cute too.  My brother and I spent a lot of time with our cousins "The Other Buckways" when we were in high school; we had a pretty fun group of friends to hang out with back then.  But, time goes on; my brother went on a mission for the LDS church, and got married shortly after he came home from his mission.

I've found throughout my life, people have come into it just when I needed them most.  In high school other than hanging out with my cousins and brother, I wasn't the type to hang with a big group, I always had just one or two very close friends; I'm still friends with those women today.  When I started working at Weber State Bookstore I also moved out of my parents' home and lived with four amazing women, whom I'm still friends with to this day!  When I began work at a Law Firm in Ogden, I became friends with the paralegal I shared the front office with; we had so much fun working together!  When I started work at Lifetime Products in Clearfield Utah, I met two of the most amazing women I know to this day!


Our families are obviously very important to us.  Culturally we're taught to think they are more important than anything in the world!  What is the that popular phrase, blood is thicker than water?  But our friends and our spouses are people we consciously choose to let into our worlds; why wouldn't we love them just as much as or more than we love our families?  Some of my biggest influences of strength, faith, and love have come from the support I've felt from my friends.


I'm happy that actual blood line doesn't define our families, if it did, my daughter wouldn't be our daughter, but she is.  Last April when Joseph and I were married in the LDS temple we also made Millee a part of our family.  I can not tell you how comforting it feels to know that the family I chose is complete. 

I'm not saying that family isn't important, I have a great family.  I'm saying friends, good friends, are just as important; so I guess I'm okay with being coined a friend oriented person, I have always been blessed with fantastic friends!

Sometimes it's the family you make for yourself that loves you the most.

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Chapter Four: The Ultimate Selfie

Can you believe that the word "selfie" is actually considered a word now?  Check out this ARTICLE found on Time News Feed; I hate that we accept words like selfie or twerk as actual words.  Why not say self portrait instead of selfie?  And no one, anywhere should ever twerk, much less use the word in a sentence. 

This blog isn't about the English language; we're talking about self portraits today!  How comfortable are you with self portraits?  I personally hate my picture taken, because I'm not happy with my physical self right now.  However, I feel that constantly pointing out that I don't want my picture to be taken because I don't like myself, isn't very healthy and probably won't help me get on the right track to living a more healthy life.  

My husband thinks I'm beautiful, and my family and friends like me as I am right now, so why not get over this issue of not taking pictures of myself?  I've challenged myself to take one "selfie" per week until I'm comfortable with having pictures taken of me!  Yikes!  Here are 5 tips from A Beautiful Mess on how to take better self portraits.  

Who's going to join me?

  Share your portraits on my Millee-Margaret Facebook page HERE or, tag me on

 INSTAGRAM @eidolonhouse, and share your self portraits! 

Here is my first "selfie" of the week!

I took this yesterday sitting in my car while Joseph was in the post office. 

  

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Chapter Three: This has to be addressed

As a woman in my mid-thirties, one subject has to be addressed:  Age!  Anyone who knows me well knows I don't want to age, but time is going to march across my face if I want it to or not.  Who decided that men get more distinguished and handsome as they age, i.e. George Clooney and Mark Harmon, and women just can't age at all?  Sure the confident women are fine with their aging, but there are those of us not so confident and I am not looking forward to dying the grey out of my hair.  Now, if I aged as these women have, I'd be pretty happy!  However, if I don't find contentment with grey hair I don't think I'd continue to die my hair brown, my natural color; I'd dye my hair blue or purple!

At some point in a persons life not only does age have to be addressed; health must be addressed as well.  Some people are naturally health aware but most of us have to make it a priority and a life changing experience to make it stick.  I'm going to use this blog not only to focus on my emotional and spiritual health but also focus on my physical health!  Joseph and I were planning a 30 day challenge around health, (check out our past 30 day challenges HERE), but we never got around to it, and I want this to be something I can conquer in my own way on my own timeline.  So here's to aging well and a healthy future!  What do you guys think about how society views women aging?    

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Chapter Two: Label Me

In our society we're often told it's wrong to put labels on people and ourselves, but I want to be labeled!  Not labeled in a judgmental sort of way, but labeled as in "defined".  My first obvious label is woman or wife, but what kind of woman or wife am I?  Am I a brave woman or am I reserved and introverted?  Maybe I am both depending on the situation I'm in.  Am I a spiritual woman?  What does it mean to be a spiritual person anyway?  Do spiritual people only attend church and pray, or can I find spirituality in other non-conventional ways such as; travel, reading, meeting new people, being in nature, meditation, etc.  I feel by answering these kinds of questions about myself, I'm in turn defining myself!
 

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Here are a some labels I'm striving for:  Brave, honest, fun, kind, creative, happy, loving, secure, and strong.
  

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